Episode 2: Building a Strong Identity In your Child

In this episode of the SwiftKick Podcast, owner Brian Cowell sits down with longtime student and coach Chandler Smith, who has been training for over 17 years and coaching for 8. They explore the deeper value of martial arts beyond physical skills, focusing on how it cultivates emotional resilience, discipline, and character development in kids and adults alike.

Chandler shares his personal journey into martial arts, ultimately staying for the personal growth it inspired. The duo discusses how martial arts helps students navigate today’s challenges—particularly in a digital age where screen time often replaces face-to-face interaction and emotional maturity.

Their discussion includes teaching kids how to regulate emotions, set boundaries, develop confidence, and respond constructively to adversity. They outline SwiftKick’s core values: Discipline, Honor, and Courage, and explain how these are broken into practical tenets taught in class. Real-world examples illustrate how these lessons translate into stronger, more empathetic members of society.

Ultimately, the episode positions martial arts not just as a sport, but as a lifelong tool for personal development—helping both kids and adults build a solid foundation of self-worth, self-control, and social connection.

This episode of the SwiftKick Martial Arts Podcast was filmed out of our Carlsbad Studio!

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Transcript

00;00;04;51 - 00;00;21;45
Unknown
Hey, everyone, this is Brian Cowell Owner of Swift Kick Martial Arts. Welcome to the Swift Kick podcast today. We have an exciting guest with us. Coach Chandler Smith, who's one of my original students. When I started Swift Kick. He's been training over 17 years, coaching with us over eight, and now he runs our ranch, Bernardo Studio.

00;00;21;50 - 00;00;49;11
Unknown
So, Chandler, tell us a little bit about, like, just kind of what got you into martial arts and maybe, you know, a little bit of your story. Yeah. So I, since I was really, really little, I was a big fan of those, samurai martial art movies in black and white. And I always really wanted to be the cool guy, doing all the cool stuff with weapons and kicks and flying awesomeness and saying, you know, Batman, of course, of course.

00;00;49;15 - 00;01;15;57
Unknown
I think that man's been an inspiration for the generations, you know? And, as I got a little older and actually started training, and that's what kind of made me excited about martial arts. But over time, I began to realize more and more that, while that is reality for some people, you know, to be like a super cool looking martial artist to me it was more about the lifestyle of I'm someone who isn't sitting on the couch all the time.

00;01;15;58 - 00;01;39;49
Unknown
Yeah. And, you know, has the mental acuity to be a little bit more prepared for the little things in life that are hard and the big things in life that are hard. Yep. Also, hitting the bag is a great therapy. Yep. Yeah. All of that? Yep. Yeah. Nothing really stress. Like, exactly. Something. And, yeah, I just became more and more of a passion for myself personally.

00;01;39;58 - 00;02;01;48
Unknown
And, there was a year I took a little break when I moved a little bit further from the studio. And it was like, as soon as we took the break, I was like, oh, I miss it. And I, I just felt all these little moments where I was like, I feel like it's harder to problem solve and harder to be more creative, which is the thing I like to do.

00;02;01;48 - 00;02;20;25
Unknown
I like to write and I like to make music, and, I those things got harder when I wasn't being active anymore, and I wasn't, you know, getting put stress on my body and my mind. And because martial arts is so physical and mental at the same time. Right. Yep. That's something I like about it, too. Yeah.

00;02;20;25 - 00;02;38;37
Unknown
And, you know, it's like, it's like those, that recent kind of boxing that came out like chess, boxing. Have you heard of that? No I haven't. Yeah. They play chess. Okay. And then the round stops and then they box into a knockout, and then they go back to chess. Maybe we should try chess. I know, right?

00;02;38;41 - 00;02;56;57
Unknown
But. Yeah. So I think I think as silly as that is, while kind of fun, I think is actually just what martial arts is, is a, there's a mental thing and a physical thing. And I know I like to overthink a lot. Yeah. And I think you can't really overthink when you're sparring. Yeah. Right. And I think that has helped me so much in so many ways.

00;02;56;57 - 00;03;19;46
Unknown
And so I, you know, after that year, I just made the effort to start coming back to train again. And I was so blessed by that change in my life. And I immediately found refound a passion for passing on those little lessons and those big lessons. Yeah. And that's what made me really just want to be be a coach.

00;03;19;47 - 00;03;36;53
Unknown
Yeah. And you know, lead others into that same discipline over my life when I want to be lazy. Yeah. And that same thoughtfulness of how I treat people in the moment, even when I'm like, they just hit me hard and, like, they shouldn't have hit me hard. And I don't want to. I want to hit them back hard.

00;03;36;58 - 00;03;52;10
Unknown
You know, be a little more honorable in the moment without thinking twice about it. Right. And then, you know, getting back up again when I get knocked down. Yep, yep. That's kind of maybe I want to pass on those things. And I think a lot of coaches and I can speak mainly for the people at Swift Kick, you know, first hand.

00;03;52;15 - 00;04;08;15
Unknown
But I think a lot of us have similar stories where it's right, you know, we want to learn the self-defense or we want to learn the cool aspect of martial arts, learn all these different things. But really it's what it does for us as a person internally. Yeah. And how that affects like everything that we do in life that really is the true power of martial arts, right?

00;04;08;17 - 00;04;21;14
Unknown
Yeah. And kind of like today, I thought that you and I can kind of talk a little bit about, something that kind of is close to my heart. And, you know, your dad, too. You know, Chandler has, two children, and I have two kids. And for him, too. Yeah. And mine are six and almost three.

00;04;21;14 - 00;04;48;00
Unknown
And so my son, you know, I think about the world that we live in now, right? We live in an increasing digital age. We live in a, where I think that the communication skills are declining. The research shows this, too, by the way. So it's not just anecdotally, I think we can all kind of experience this by saying I had this interaction with these kids or my own children or what have you, but like research and evidence is actually showing, like we're having kids have less ability to communicate.

00;04;48;05 - 00;05;04;33
Unknown
They don't have the same social skills or have a harder time setting boundaries because everything's kind of blurred together with this digital age. You know, where screen time is kind of pulling away from the ability to learn those social interactions. Right. And then our kids are dealing with things that none of us ever really learn to deal with.

00;05;04;38 - 00;05;23;35
Unknown
You know, we dealt with them in different ways. Right. We all have to learn how to have confidence. We all have to learn how to have, you know, deal with, you know, different challenges in life and different, obstacles that come our way, but they're just different now. Right. And so today, we kind of want to explore some of the challenges that kids are having.

00;05;23;36 - 00;05;42;13
Unknown
Right. And then what parents are having concerns and the struggles we're having as parents and what we're doing to combat that. Right. So kind of starting off today, I want to talk about emotional resilience and what is that and what does it do and how are we, you know, helping kids develop this in the classroom. So first of all, emotional resilience.

00;05;42;13 - 00;06;06;33
Unknown
would essentially be the idea that when you know you have an identity of self okay. And you have a way that you interact with others, and when challenges, obstacles come your way, that you tend to be able to withstand that, okay, and still kind of like and find joy, find the ability to stand your ground, to have boundaries, to have confidence in who you are.

00;06;06;40 - 00;06;27;23
Unknown
Right? So that your identity is really built on a rock and not a foundation of sand that can easily get wiped away. Right? So it's like, how do we build a rock like identity, right? So in my undergrad I studied a lot of self. Self esteem. Self esteem development. And how do you what helps create a resilient image of self okay.

00;06;27;28 - 00;06;51;23
Unknown
And what does create resilient. What research shows. What does create a resilient image of self is one having a competence skill and two, having, social interactions with people who who love and care about you. So being socially accepted somewhere and then having a competence skill that, that you develop right now, on top of that, I would say that's like the foundation.

00;06;51;35 - 00;07;07;14
Unknown
And how do you employ that? Well, to me, I feel like not only can martial arts give you that foundation, a lot of people know martial arts builds confidence. We obviously, even though it's, it's not a group or team sport. It's done in a group setting. So you build a community, right? So you get those aspects of it.

00;07;07;14 - 00;07;24;34
Unknown
But what it does is it gives you skills to actually deal with when challenges come your way. Because martial arts is very much about self-defense, but self-defense, even emotionally. Right. Like, let's say someone's crossing a boundary with you. You learn how to. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Right. So how do we build that?

00;07;24;34 - 00;07;51;01
Unknown
Right. So we talk about all these different skills, all these different tennis that we teach in martial arts. So I want you to kind of talk a little bit about some of the tenets that we, we, we implement in class or some of the training that we do. Yeah, that helps kids build confidence. Community, the ability to set boundaries, having assertiveness, you know, having awareness of how they're feeling, labeling that feeling and being able to deal with it in the appropriate way, have the self-control to deal with it.

00;07;51;01 - 00;08;18;51
Unknown
So, and your experience as a head instructor and teaching hundreds of students, you know, maybe what are you seeing on the floor? How are you guys addressing that as a coaching team? How are you addressing it as an instructor? So yeah, I'll just give you an opportunity to kind of yeah, totally. So I think one of the like you said already, martial arts kind of in some ways innately fosters that because you're getting punched in the face, you're getting, you know, smashed into the ground.

00;08;18;56 - 00;08;42;55
Unknown
It's not something you can really train by yourself on a mountaintop watching YouTube videos. I think some styles I was you can, but I think the ones that hit the heart of what we're talking about today don't in the same way they hit parts of it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think there is a, there is a value in that, you know, in the more traditional styles of martial arts that are like, you know, life forms and stuff like that.

00;08;42;56 - 00;09;05;24
Unknown
Like, I think there is value in that in different ways. So I think martial arts, the what we practice being very, you know, boxing, many different types of kickboxing, different kinds of grappling hits the heart of that on its own. But something we like to do is give context to the kids and the parents to think about how that actually relates.

00;09;05;29 - 00;09;29;21
Unknown
So it's a tool they can think about outside of the classroom and on the floor and in the dojo, and then set goals to how they can apply that area outside. So we we basically picked three main, I call them axioms. And within those there's nine tenets total. Yep. And that being discipline, honor and courage.

00;09;29;26 - 00;09;48;29
Unknown
And body you probably know. But those three things you see all the time when you talk about martial arts. So let's see how we talk about them is a little different. So I'll talk about specifically what I mean by them. So yeah discipline is the the act of changing how you master yourself in response to everyday things.

00;09;48;29 - 00;10;16;06
Unknown
It it looks more like restraint sometimes. And action. Sure. Yeah. And so for kids, we often talk about when we break into these two tenets of attentiveness and focusing on our people and our surroundings by changing how we sit and stand with our bodies. Right. So I'm trying to listen to someone we ask them to, like, look with their eyes, think of what they're saying with their mind, and actually sit still with their body in a way that helps them continue listening.

00;10;16;11 - 00;10;30;14
Unknown
And that's when I get a lot of, a lot of parents look over and be like, you're asking them to sit still for a moment, like, are you crazy? Right. And I get it. You know, I have a four year old and a two year old, and, you know, they cannot sit still for the life of them.

00;10;30;27 - 00;10;46;30
Unknown
However, when we practice it, it's in pieces. It's in moments. You know, I, I play often, I play like Simon says with my son and, like, even just this morning, he's like, let's play Simon. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm like, all right, sit down. He sits down, crisscross as sharp as he can for two seconds. Am I cool now?

00;10;46;31 - 00;11;05;29
Unknown
Be a dinosaur, you know, and that's practicing that a tennis just for a moment. Yep. And, the, the self-control aspect, the second side of discipline is when that restraint really starts getting really hard, I think. I think the focus is the obvious one that's, you know, as a parent, I'm like, their behavior, they're not focused. You're focusing right now.

00;11;05;29 - 00;11;26;05
Unknown
Yeah. But that's that's the that's the outside layer. Yep. The inside layer is self-control, which is more a matter of the heart. Right. What we're talking about okay. In my thought and in my feelings, I want to do this thing. Yeah, that's a not good for me. Yep. And my instruction from mom or dad or my teacher was this.

00;11;26;05 - 00;11;41;34
Unknown
And that is good for me. Yeah. And I want to do this, which is what I'm not supposed to do. I need to restrain myself. And I need to do this, which is action. But sometimes it just looks like stopping yourself, right? Yeah. And so, in the kids class, I have a little song I sing like a little toddler class for them to practice.

00;11;41;34 - 00;11;58;57
Unknown
We say, you know, listen and obey right away with a good attitude. And it's basically taking all those ideas. Just put them together in a way they can remember. Yeah. And I find those kids, I start talking about anything with regards discipline, and one of them will just start singing the little song in the middle of class, and it's like, yeah, yes, that's exactly it.

00;11;59;08 - 00;12;23;01
Unknown
And then they repeat. I hear them talk about at home with their parents or parents like, yep, they were talking about this just today. Yep. And it's, it's addressing not just the behavior but the cause behind it which is remembering their parents care about them. Yeah. What what's good for them. And, in class that looks like we talk about how, okay, when I give an instruction, I ask them to sit crisscross and say, yes, sir.

00;12;23;05 - 00;12;41;46
Unknown
Not because, yes, there's just a rule of class, and it's what we've done for, you know, very, very long time and martial arts like it is a tradition and it's the respect I ask for. But that's not the heart of it. Yeah. And that's not why we're doing. That's not why we keep the tradition. You know, the tradition is there because it's how they practice their attitude being different.

00;12;41;46 - 00;13;03;06
Unknown
Yep. When they're asked to do something and that's something that's magical. That like when you get to talk about the kids and the parents hear it too, they're like, that's right. Because it's not easy for parents either, right? Adults still work on their attitudes. Do you know? Yeah. Which is your attitude does change your reality. Yeah. You know, I and the example I love to give the kids that they echo back and they're like, I did it.

00;13;03;06 - 00;13;18;16
Unknown
And you were right. It worked like it. What it does work is I'm like, yeah, you want to clean your bed? Well, you don't want to clean your bed, right? Yeah. You know, and if you grumble and complain about it and you drag your feet, I'm like, does it take a short time or a long time? And they're like, oh, a long time.

00;13;18;16 - 00;13;34;42
Unknown
And I'm like, it does. And I'm like, but if you just say, yes, mom, and you just choose to have a good attitude, even if you're like, I don't want to do this, I don't understand why I have to do it. It gets easier. Yeah, it's easier to do. And I'm like, you'll find it is faster. Yeah, suddenly it's faster.

00;13;34;51 - 00;13;53;10
Unknown
And I think what's cool with young kids is that's a hard thing to understand. But it's also simple. Yeah, I think because it's simple, it's hard for everyone to get down. Yeah. And, I even had a moment the other day with one of our teens. He was trying to partner with someone a little easier for him because he kind of gas himself out.

00;13;53;11 - 00;14;06;53
Unknown
He's like, kind of positive. I was like, no, no, I'm going to challenge you. Like, you're going for Black Belt soon. You're going to go over here. How did you know? And he's 17, so he's not a young kid. He's like, okay. And I'm like kind of looked at him and kind of looked at me and I was like, because he knew where I was going to go with it.

00;14;06;53 - 00;14;23;08
Unknown
Yeah. And he now the partner, he bought it the same thing. And I was like, no, you're going to go with Eric. And he's like, okay, give me this look. I was like, hey man, this. Let's change our attitude. Yeah. You know, it's your attitude changes your reality because he heard me. He helps in classes too. So hear me mention it a couple days before.

00;14;23;08 - 00;14;45;49
Unknown
And the kid's class, like the little kids class? Yep. And instead of scoffing at it, he just took a moment. He's like, okay, into the room. He's smiling because mean, he's like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. And you know what's really important that we're kind of hitting on two is like, how imperative this is to work with the kids in the developmental ages.

00;14;45;49 - 00;15;07;53
Unknown
Yeah. To develop this as a lifestyle view perspective okay. So I think a lot of times our society, our culture, we really value making sure that kids get the academic education right, which is important. So that's extremely important. I think a lot of families are definitely on the on the vein of making sure that there's a physical priority, that their kids are getting a physical outlet, right?

00;15;08;04 - 00;15;31;21
Unknown
And they're developing those physical skills at a young age. Developmentally, we need to prioritize developing these lifestyle emotional skills, at an early age. Right? Okay. And I think that martial arts is inherently does that swift kick does that because we incorporate a lot of these philosophies and the, research based psychology behind what we're doing, but how important it is to have the little win right.

00;15;31;34 - 00;15;46;45
Unknown
So for like your son at four years old is can you sit still for two seconds? Well, that's what you can do sometimes at four years old. Then it turns into five seconds and it's five minutes, but it doesn't happen overnight. Right. And so what I think a lot of parents I know because I have a lot we have a lot of parents that come in with kids that are a lot older.

00;15;46;45 - 00;16;04;04
Unknown
Right. Or we have adults, right, who've now developed and sometimes go, oh man, I really wish I had these tools when I was younger, or I wish my son or daughter started working on these tools when they were younger. Now, being equipped and knowing how to use the tools doesn't mean you're always going to use them right? But it does certainly give the kids a leg up.

00;16;04;09 - 00;16;22;51
Unknown
And I think it's so important that, you know, as parents, we invest time and energy into making sure that we're developing these aspects. And it's a lot of work. I mean, as a parent at home, it's a lot harder to really like, like continue reinforcing these things that are just, we'll do what we want you to do because we told you to do it.

00;16;22;56 - 00;16;44;31
Unknown
You know, what's better is like learning, helping your child learn how to do it because they want to do it right. And martial arts with that discipline aspect, that's kind of what we're teaching. We're teaching you to regulate internally, to be able to say, I may feel like smacking somebody because I'm angry, right? And instead I'm going to learn to to do what's right.

00;16;44;36 - 00;17;09;38
Unknown
Because I'm constantly hearing that input and martial arts class, hearing that input and practicing it at martial arts hopefully. And then that should permeate to other aspects of life. And if it's not, that's that's where parents come in. That's where we need to make sure that we're all guiding it. Right. As coaches, our relationship with parents, I can't tell you how many conversations you've had and I've had with parents where we help come alongside and be like, okay, let's talk about how you're doing a great job doing that at studio.

00;17;09;40 - 00;17;31;29
Unknown
Right. But you're having some challenges doing that at home. So let's talk about that a little bit more. And these are great parents who are really reinforcing these topics right. They still need yeah we still need that, third party validation. And that's what the psychology psychological term is. It's like you have to have an outside source from your family oftentimes to help reinforce what you want to see in your own kids.

00;17;31;29 - 00;17;55;52
Unknown
Yeah. This is why coaches and teachers, celebrities, whether we like it or not, play a pivotal role in influencing others and especially our children. Right. And so we want the influence to be, you know, I can self-regulate. We want the influence to be right. I can focus, I am disciplined, I right can tackle these things. And so it all starts with little milestones and we build on it.

00;17;55;56 - 00;18;11;31
Unknown
Kind of like I tell my son, it's like, you know, it's like building a Lego, right? Yeah. It's like we add one piece at a time. And I think a lot of kids, a lot of adults, even parents, especially sometimes we want the Lego built. Yeah. We want our kids to have these things. Yeah, but it takes time.

00;18;11;35 - 00;18;30;50
Unknown
Yeah. One piece at a time. And you do that by one class at a time, right? One moment at a time. Absolutely. No, that's so true. And I think that ties right into the the second big area we talk about class which is honor. And honors such a big concept. So it actually we break it into four different tenets.

00;18;30;51 - 00;18;48;53
Unknown
Yeah. And it, it kind of follows a similar pattern. We talk about the outer layers of things we can just do, and it builds into deeper and deeper layers that are like a lot harder a lot harder for adults as well. And that's why it's martial arts is not just the thing for kids, it's thing for everybody, you know?

00;18;48;58 - 00;19;11;17
Unknown
But one of the things we most like about the honor is it's not about the choices. It's not just about the choices you made. You learn from them, but it's also about making the next right choice. Yep. Right. So okay. Yeah, they're Legos not built yet, but okay. Well, you can start building it now. Yep. And a kid who's having a trouble in that moment is it's good to remember that it's like, oh, which is what's the next step we can do?

00;19;11;21 - 00;19;37;40
Unknown
Well, yeah, we focus on, we start with courtesy. Nice and simple, especially for younger kids. It's like, okay, saying please and thank you, raising your hand. It's the outward signs of respect, which is the second one, actually internally remembering that other people have value. Yep. And because they have value, we need to remember that in our interactions with them, which is hard for everyone to do.

00;19;37;40 - 00;20;00;52
Unknown
Yeah, right. Especially when you disagree with them. Yeah. Which is the third one. Perspective. And I know recently in both Carlsbad and our Rancho Bernardo location, that's one we've all been talking about a lot because I think we all feel it right now. Yep. Wherever you stand on a given situation, whether it's, large scale across the country or just between two friends.

00;20;00;52 - 00;20;26;39
Unknown
Yeah. What we talk about perspective is it's not about, like changing your opinion. It's about taking a moment to practice some empathy and look at the same situation from their perspective. Right. I like to use a very simple example with a student in class where, like, I hold something up and I'm like, cool. This side looks like one way to me, but it looks like another way to you.

00;20;26;39 - 00;20;58;02
Unknown
Yeah. So sometimes and we're talking and we disagree and I'm like, my sides agree. And you're like, well my sides blew. It was good for me to go oh yeah, you're right. It doesn't change. I don't have to change my opinion. Yep. But I do need to change how I interact with you. Yeah. You know, and I think that's something that's good for kids to remember is like, when they're having a situation with someone, whether it's a friend or a bully, or as they get older, just a plain old disagreement, you know, you don't have to change your opinion to practice empathy.

00;20;58;07 - 00;21;16;16
Unknown
You just need to be kinder about it and think about where they're coming from a little bit more and ask questions. Which leads into the final one of honor, which I think is, is really when you think about honor being not something you like are, but something you're trying to do. I think this one comes into play the biggest, which is humility.

00;21;16;20 - 00;21;34;41
Unknown
And I think it's like one of the classic martial art tenets. And I think it's the hardest one to explain to younger kids. Right. But when we, when we spend a couple weeks on it and really, like, dive into it and they, like, grasp it, it's so cool to see them be like, oh, this is what it means.

00;21;34;46 - 00;21;55;32
Unknown
And we like to do positive definitions and negative definitions to try and understand both sides of it. Yeah, especially the compliment like humility. So we usually go humility is lifting others up from a place of self confidence. Yeah I can do something. I can be wrong I can be right. Yeah. But my focus is on you lifting you up.

00;21;55;32 - 00;22;18;43
Unknown
Yep. Not on me right now. Yeah. And another way we like to say it. And many people probably heard this phrase before. Humility is not thinking, less of yourself. Yeah, but it's thinking of yourself less. Yes. Often. Yeah. Right. What a great it's a great definition. And I think that helps students understand what we're talking about.

00;22;18;43 - 00;22;35;54
Unknown
And, I think it can be simplified to lift this up, which is like, you know, I'm not saying. Oh, Brian, your jacket's so great. My shirt is so horrible. And I think some kids think that's what humility is, right? Or, you know, there's the obvious one where it's like, your jacket is horrible. It's like, well, that's obviously not humility, right?

00;22;36;00 - 00;22;50;33
Unknown
You know, but it's like, I don't have to comment on myself. Yeah. I can just be like, you know what? I think that I think you have a really awesome jacket. That's really cool. But in class we talk about it from like a martial arts perspective or like, okay, hey, they hit this pad. Maybe they tagged me in sparring.

00;22;50;33 - 00;23;05;25
Unknown
Yeah. And I didn't get out of the way. Yeah, instead of being like, oh, man, I gotta work on my slips, I had to. It's horrible. It doesn't lift them up. Makes them just feel bad. They punched you in the face when they did a cool thing, you know? So we say, okay, well, how do you. How do you practice that?

00;23;05;27 - 00;23;23;36
Unknown
Yeah. Look at you go, oh, hey, that was a great punch. Clearly, I gotta work on my head because your punches are getting so much better. Dude. Great job. And I like to have them try to say that and do that. Yeah. While they're sparring. Yeah. Because it's a it's hard to do. Yeah, but be there in the heat of a moment.

00;23;23;36 - 00;23;46;43
Unknown
Yep. Where their emotions can be running high. And that's when it's hard to. Yeah. But that's when it comes up in life anyways. Yep. Is it's about sacrificing your ego. Yeah. And giving something up. Yep. For a bigger goal. Yeah. And martial arts uniquely does that because there's something so vulnerable. Yeah about being punched in the face.

00;23;46;48 - 00;24;04;49
Unknown
Or smashed on the ground okay. It's a highly physical endeavor. Right. And there's a lot of internal intellectual ism behind it too. But like a great way to humble yourself is getting on the mat if you've never done it before. Right. So and so. The thing is just like when we teach at a young age to deal with life.

00;24;04;49 - 00;24;25;48
Unknown
So whether it's the fear of it or the ego behind it that comes up in these physical interactions, it's very primal, right? So the physical interactions, what we're able to do and some of some of our audience may not really be fully aware of, like the engineering behind the intellectual approach behind our curriculum. But essentially what we're doing with kids is it's called progressive stress inoculation.

00;24;25;48 - 00;24;50;18
Unknown
Yeah. Over time they're getting desensitize and they're learning to build confidence, courage, humility every time they get punched at whether it's a pat or a person. Right. And they're getting used to that aspect, which is going to take permeate to other areas of their life. So for example, I use this example all the time, especially with the teenagers in the adults is like, life's going to punch you right in the face.

00;24;50;23 - 00;25;05;49
Unknown
Sometimes you need to punch back, right. Sometimes you need to block, sometimes you need to dodge, sometimes you shouldn't have been there in the first place. You know sometimes you shouldn't have been in the fight. Right. And so it's like learning all of those things. There's such an analogy for like a sparring or a grappling match.

00;25;06;00 - 00;25;26;14
Unknown
So dealing with obstacles and challenges, you know, in everyday life. Right. But I think that this progressive stress inoculation, the idea behind it is that over time, you know, you start off with a little kid, you know, doing a noodle to their face. Yeah. You know, and that can even bring tears. Yeah. For the kids who are scared or the kids that have the ego, they're like, oh, I can defeat the biggest coach here.

00;25;26;21 - 00;25;53;25
Unknown
Yeah, I know you're dealing with the noodle there, buddy. You know? Think so. But over time yesterday, the other day to say he was like, oh my, I'm the strongest one in this class. He's four years old. He doesn't even go up to my knee. Yeah. So you're totally right. Yeah. I mean it's either it's one of one of the other, like a lot of times like innately with, with the children, you either have the kid who, who needs more confidence, maybe the kid who needs more humility.

00;25;53;32 - 00;26;10;08
Unknown
Right? Or I usually start it with more self-control. A lot of times it's more self-control, a little bit more of that, because we don't have to get into a discussion about that. But I think a lot of there's a lot of research that shows that aggression really doesn't come from overconfidence. It actually oftentimes come from lack of confidence.

00;26;10;08 - 00;26;29;02
Unknown
Yeah. You know, so, you know, aggressive behaviors. And so we see people manifest, you know, in a situation where they're getting punched out. They're they're either shying away the fight or flight, right? I had to fight back or I kind of kind of shy away or freeze. Right. And that's an innate response for a lot of kids. So if we simplified it, it's like martial arts is going to help the shy kid get the confidence.

00;26;29;07 - 00;26;55;04
Unknown
It's going to help the kid who doesn't have self-control, who gets angry really easily, who gets inside really easily to be able to calm down and kind of like learn how to regulate in that moment. Right. And so but it's done over time. We think all of the sudden that as adults will somehow have these skills. Well, I can tell you right now I have conversations with people in business people and, or parents and we, we get vulnerable conversations.

00;26;55;04 - 00;27;13;39
Unknown
We go, I'm going to deal with this now in my life, I'm just now learning how to deal with, you know, the fact that I can have confidence in myself to stand up to a coworker or to a boss, or to have the ability to kind of like, check myself and not respond in a way that I really want to respond.

00;27;13;39 - 00;27;30;57
Unknown
Right. This can start at a young age, and that's what we do. It can start when you're an adult, too. It's never too late. Time to start learning these skills. But they do start at that young age. And so building that discipline in that order, like you're saying, through the different tenets that we have, it takes time. So it takes time.

00;27;30;57 - 00;27;56;46
Unknown
And so that's why martial arts is a lifestyle. That's why going for blackbelt is such a huge achievement. It's this time tested, you know, ability to develop not just the physical competency but all these internal skills as well. Right. And what's really interesting too, is if you talk to a lot of people in business or you read articles, you know, you find out like what is and there's lots of ways you can define success, right?

00;27;56;54 - 00;28;14;43
Unknown
People can define success in so many ways. And a lot of times we don't have to get into a philosophical, philosophical discussion about all the different ways success can be defined. But without getting into that, a lot of people who are, by whatever measures we want to use, successful in business, successful in life, a lot of them have learned a lot of these skills.

00;28;14;48 - 00;28;38;38
Unknown
They are personally disciplined. Yeah, they have honor. They operate with integrity, right? They have humility, but they have confidence. Right. And and I know a lot of guys, you know, and girls who run businesses and they all say like, I don't care as much about the technical skill that somebody has. But what really matters to me is do they show up on time?

00;28;38;43 - 00;28;57;56
Unknown
Do they treat others with kindness? Are they able to operate on a team by seeing other people's perspectives? Do they operate with courtesy, you know, or, you know? And being a business person myself and like, you know, interact with lots of different people and other business people, sometimes you can have an all star that's really great at their technical aspect of the job, but doesn't do these other skills really well.

00;28;57;56 - 00;29;13;15
Unknown
And you know what happens? They're not a good fit for a lot of right. They're just not because people don't get along with them. They walk in. They might be exceptionally good at whatever they're doing, but if they don't, if they're not able to take other people's perspective, they're not able to have humility. They're not able to have good conversation with others.

00;29;13;15 - 00;29;33;48
Unknown
Yeah, it's just not there. And so what's really interesting is I feel like while obviously developing technical skills and going through academia is important and you want to encourage that, I think one of the number one things with increasing social media increase in AI, who can do technical work now, you know, increase a lot of these things. It's the people perspective.

00;29;33;52 - 00;29;49;59
Unknown
Yeah, that we need to make sure that we're able to educate kids with. And that's what we prioritize in our training. And we're using the martial arts as a vehicle to do it. Yeah, it's a highly physical vehicle. It's going to give you a great workout. It's all of those things, but it is going to help develop those those internal skills.

00;29;50;34 - 00;30;06;39
Speaker 2
Hey, everyone. Thanks for joining our podcast today. And, Chandler, thanks for being a part of, today's episode. And, you know, if you're interested in, free trial class and you live in the San Diego area, we have a studio in Rancho Bernardo and in Carlsbad, you guys can take advantage of a free class. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast.

00;30;06;40 - 00;30;12;46
Speaker 2
We do put out an episode about once a month, and, Yeah. Thanks, everyone, for tuning in. We'll see you next time.

00;30;13;14 - 00;30;13;17


00;30;13;17 - 00;30;20;26
Unknown
Chandler's been training us with Kik for over 17 years, and he's been coaching with us. How long you've been coaching? Maybe seven years.

00;30;20;31 - 00;30;42;20
Unknown
2017. Okay, so however long that is on that, maybe. Maybe we should start over. It's 17. It's, we're in 2025 now. Five. Six. Eight years. Yeah. Eight years. Okay, let me start over. Ashley. Starting off with math. Brian. Come on. All right.